You can win the fear of public speaking.
They say that also Cicerone, one of the greatest orator in the history, was afraid of public speaking. Indeed this is one of the common fears that distress the human being. And like any other fright, it conducts to make mistakes and it disseminates the path with traps. So here are the 4 most common traps, but there is also a good news: we can focus on each of them, keep them under control, and this will already improve a lot our results.
Trap #1: imagine a negative movie
It is demonstrated that the people who don’t consider themselves as a good speaker, before starting a discourse they mentally keep repeating sentences like «I mustn’t be excited», «I mustn’t be afraid of speaking in public», «I must be concentrated», «This time I can’t freeze up», «This time I don’t want to make a bad impression».
Our brain is feed with imagination, and for this reason people’s mind that have public speaking difficulty is filled up with images of themselves that don’t know how to speak, that get stuck and become inhibit in front of the audience, and they make a bad impression. They imagined a “negative movie”.
Surely, the intentions are good and we focus in order to make a good discourse, but the mind is influenced by the “negative movie”, and what happens when it’s time to speak?
He/she will realize the scene that his mind imagined until that moment, because if his mind has already seen for many times a certain image it tends to reproduce that one. The brain has imagined for several times the negative scene and that is the one that it will perform.
Thinking about what we don’t want means focusing on problems: when we think about them we create in our mind images that influence us.
How can we avoid this trap? By creating a “positive movie”, by imagining the moment when we speak with fluency and we receive the applause.
Also considering ourselves (or to imagine ourselves) good communicators who know how to manage public speaking can make the difference.
Focusing on the success helps to be successful.
It is demonstrated. And realizable.
Trap #2: not looking the audience in the eye
Not looking the audience in the eye isn’t just an “unpleasant” behavior but it’s also an insidious trap that makes us appear insecure and not really convinced of what we say.
Keeping under control this trouble isn’t that difficult, because if you are able to “engage” the audience with the gaze most of the work is done, and almost automatically you will show self-confidence, and you will also feel it inside. If you are speaking to a small public around a table force yourself to look, one at a time all of the listeners in the eye. If you are in a big area look at the people at the back of the room and move your eyes slowly through the room. Avoid talking while looking just to the first rows. And what is worse is to keep looking on the slides (and reading them, such an horror!).
You mustn’t run away from people’s gaze, but search for the eye contact. This shows self-confidence and gives confidence, in a virtuous cycle.
Trap #3: Talking at a low voice
Insecurity pushes us to talk softly, so that they almost can’t hear us and judge us, but this is indeed the trap. The insecurity of who is scared of public speaking shows through from the low volume of the voice and it arises the negative judgement of the listener.
We try to hide ourselves and this behavior reveal ourselves.
If you are a person who tends to talk softly, the next time that you have to speak in public try to turn up the volume. It’s not so difficult. Also your brain will be influenced and by hearing an unusual voice, more confident, it will make you behave as well confidentially. Who speaks with a full voice (obviously without shouting) is most of the time considered as self-confident and also the people listen with more interest.
Trap #4: acting like a loser
I’m sure that you will laugh out loud if you’ll try to jump, clap your hands with a nice smile and at the same time shout: “I’m so sad!”. That is impossible.
On the contrary try to think to a sad and depressed person. Imagine his posture and breathing. Now try to assume those positions: you’ll notice that gradually typical depressed feelings will arise in you, of someone who is destined to lose.
In the same way if you can assume a posture, the breathing and the physiology of an euphoric and winning person, you can’t surrender to sadness.
This happens because our emotions depend on a communication coherence in different levels, that is the words that we say must be coherent with the volume, rhythm, timbre of our voice.
But at the same time both of these factors must be coherent with our body language. But luckily identifying our voice volume and body language and keeping them under control help us to influence our general behavior, and the impression that we want to make.
If you want a successful life start changing your behavior, train your mind with positive and enthusiastic images, force yourself to believe in strengthen truths, find the approval of everything and your physiology will simply conform in it.
Even if you are not born as a big orator, with a little bit of commitment you can become a good speaker and win the fear of public speaking. First of all by trying to avoid these four traps. You can start by identifying the one that seems to be the most dangerous for you and to work on it: you’ll discover that by facing “the enemies” gradually you can beat them. And it is amazing to see that the results arrive rapidly.